Josh's Adoption Story

Cassius’ mother, Alyssa, and I met while she was on a year-abroad program, studying at Newcastle University, England, where I was also a student at the time.

In 2017, Alyssa and I found out that she was almost seven months pregnant. Our son Cassius was very small, and we had no idea he was with us until that point. All of a sudden, we were faced with the seemingly impossible task of deciding what to do moving forward.

We eventually decided to have Cassius adopted on an open adoption basis, as we couldn’t bear the thought of not being a part of his life — while equally feeling totally unprepared and unable to give him the life he deserved.

On Oct. 21, our son — Cassius Mikel John — was born a happy, healthy little boy. Shortly afterwards, an adoptive couple that we still have regular contact with adopted him. They had already adopted a little girl through American Adoptions and, because Alyssa and I both come from big families, we hugely valued the importance of Cassius growing up with siblings. The adoptive father is also a Newcastle United — the soccer team from Newcastle that I have supported since I was a child — fan. Of course, it’s also the sports team from the city where Alyssa and I met and fell in love.

Alyssa and I felt so privileged to have such amazing support from American Adoptions. We couldn’t believe how fortunate we were to make the choices of who would adopt Cassius, what sort of contact we might have, and how regularly we might have contact. To have that kind of control over the situation made all the difference for us.

Part of the agreement was that Alyssa and I — and, later, any family who wanted to join us — would visit Cassius and his new family every two years. We’re due to go and see them in October of this year.

I want to build a life where I am always accessible for Cassius. He deserves to grow up knowing who his biological father really is and that I’m there for him if he wants or needs me. I believe just knowing his mother and I are there for him in body, mind and spirit will be of endless value to Cassius growing up. More than that, I want him to know his parents made the decision we did not because we didn’t want him, but because we wanted to be the very best versions of ourselves for him. That we wanted him to possible grow up to be proud of his biological parents and their achievements.

Everything that has happened has led me to here, and I wouldn’t change any of it.

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