We love being parents. In many ways, it feels like what we were put on this planet to do. We welcomed our daughter, Cosima, into our lives in 2020. We are currently living the reality in which we routinely discuss our daughter's adoption with her, almost daily, as a natural part of her and our story. To us, open adoption begins with being open with the child, ensuring they feel pride in their unique story. From her first day, we've shared the truth of how she came into the world and became part of our family. Her first book, "Who Loves Baby," contains photos of her family—including her birth family—and we've read it countless times, pointing out her aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and birth family as all the same group of family who loves her. The book also includes pictures from her homebirth and those special early days spent with her birth mom, sharing moments like first feedings and midwife visits. Part of an adoption story is how much love there is at the center and we really want our children to hear this. The love, bravery, and commitment their birthparent has made to them through the bravery and choice of adoption.

We plan to celebrate the stories of our future children and birth parents in the same way: answering their questions honestly and ensuring they have access to all of the individuals who are part of their background. We envision a diverse, inclusive family of adopted and birth relatives who support each other and the child. We look forward to creating traditions, inside jokes, and adventures with this extended, open family.

We have many favorite ways to spend our leisure time, both as a family, and as individuals. One favorite thing we do as a family is travel. Travel, both near and far, has been an amazing part of our lives. We look forward to all sorts of traveling with our kids, showing them the many types of people and cultures there are in the world - not just big trips to foreign countries, but simpler adventures like visiting state and National Parks or volunteering in a rural community here in our state. Travel is an opportunity to experience how other people live, and this perspective is important to us to raise a compassionate and connected human.

Other shared leisure activities include family bike rides, swimming in the local river or community pool, arts and crafts, baking, reading and creating stories together, playing music, and visiting the rock climbing gym. Davis is a passionate gardener, and spends many hours tending the garden. Time in the garden is something that he loves with our daughter. Miles is a devoted yoga practitioner. And Cosima is a painter, sculptor, and photographer.

We love to create and honor traditions, both big and small. A favorite holiday is Thanksgiving: we celebrate with a huge group of friends, a community of found-family that traces its roots all the way back to Miles' parents' days in graduate school. A favorite element of the Thanksgiving celebration that we host is going around in a circle and reading stories and poems and other musings aloud for one another as we enjoy dessert. We also love to celebrate Christmas, and often host gatherings for singing carols and making music with family and friends. Another favorite tradition is a summer cabin trip to a special place in Central Oregon, the spot where we had our wedding.

In addition to big traditions, we have little daily rituals that we love as well. One comes from Davis' family, and is our pre-meal "grace". We all hold hands around the table before eating, and we kiss the hand to our left and our right, and we all make a little happy sound together that we call "bluh-bluh". We love the tradition of visiting the Farmer's Market on Saturday, and our favorite pizza shop on Friday nights. Cosima is inspiring many new traditions into our family's routine as well, including a silly little family dance that we do as we are getting dressed and ready in the morning, and a silly song for brushing teeth.

We live in a cool 1920s Spanish-style house in a vibrant neighborhood in Portland, Oregon. We love this area for its central location, great schools, and walkability to the charming local bakery, restaurants, and shops. Even though we're in the heart of the city, our backyard overlooks the treetops of the valley below. It is so quiet and peaceful. Our neighborhood is full of families and kids, and we're lucky to be close with many neighbors, including one across the street who shares their pool with us!

We are really excited to raise children in this house and neighborhood. Our home has plenty of space to welcome one or two more children, with each having their own room. Off the living room, we have a cozy sunroom we call the "playroom" or "music room" filled with toys, art supplies, and musical instruments like 3 pianos and Miles' saxophones.

We recently expanded our backyard, creating more room for play and gardening. We have swings hanging from a maple tree, and we love biking our daughter to preschool, just blocks away. The local elementary, middle, and high schools are all nearby, and the quiet streets are perfect for kids to play safely. In summer, we enjoy trips to the public pool and nearby parks, where our daughter loves testing out the monkey bars. It's the perfect neighborhood to raise a family.

We love our family and they are central to our lives. We joke that each get-together is just an opportunity to plan the next one. We get to see Miles' parents weekly, as we have a tradition of Thursday dinner together. We also get to see Miles' sister's family all the time, they are just an hour away. And Miles' cousin and her husband have an awesome five year old and live a few blocks away. Davis's family is all in California, and he has an ever-expanding list of amazing nieces and nephews; his parents are looking forward to celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary this year!

We each come from parents who have been married for many decades and believe strongly in creating tradition and community. We have adoption on both sides of our family, both older generations (adult cousins) and nieces and nephews, including transracial adoption. And in addition to relatives, both families have collected new family members through friendship over the years.

A unique tradition that we started when we welcomed our daughter, was to create a group of muse-mothers –our take on god-mothers– to honor the friends, family, and birth family that would be part of her life and surround her with love and support as she grows.

Hello!

Thank you for taking the time to read our letter. We're Miles, Davis, and our daughter Cosima. Our story began in 2009 in Oregon, where we became friends while working on a film project. Though our paths took us to different places — Davis staying in Portland while Miles lived in Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and Ashland — we stayed in touch. In 2017, we began dating, and in 2022, we were married in a small, intimate ceremony.

As a couple, we make a great team and share many values and interests. Family and friends are at the heart of our lives, and we love gardening, cooking, and hosting get-togethers. We enjoy making meals inspired by the fresh, local produce we find at our farmer's market and love to bake cookies and cakes. We also like to stay active as a family, whether it's hiking, biking, camping, doing yoga, or working together on projects and goals. Music plays a big role in our home, too. We listen to everything from jazz and folk to hip hop and pop, and we often make music together — Miles plays saxophone and piano, Davis sings, and we come from a family full of musicians. Family gatherings often turn into jam sessions, which are always a lot of fun.

Adopting Cosima in 2020 through open adoption has been more than we ever dreamed. Joining the open adoption community has filled our lives with deep purpose. From the beginning, we've been committed to telling Cosima her true story — how her incredible birth mom found us, chose us, and continues to be an essential part of her life. Our focus is always on wrapping her in love and support. We are thrilled at the thought of welcoming another child into our family and look forward to including their birth family in whatever way feels right. We have no expectations — whether through visits, pictures, texts, or letters, we're open to whatever form of contact brings the most love and connection for the child.

Both of us come from very close-knit families. Our parents have been married for many years, and we each have strong relationships with our siblings. Miles grew up in Oregon, where his parents settled after finishing school on the East Coast. Davis grew up in Northern California, where his family still lives. Our families share similar values: a belief in the power of love, the importance of supporting each other's dreams, and the desire to spread joy and kindness in the world.

We love our life in Portland. Davis owns a photo and video studio, where he enjoys working with a wonderful team and a global community. Miles is a physician completing his medical residency, with plans to pursue Family Medicine. He's connected to a diverse network of people through education, healthcare, and community groups. Our friendships and family relationships bring so much richness and fulfillment to our lives, and we're excited to continue growing our family.

Building our family through open adoption aligns with the kind of life we want to create — one that is fun, diverse, and kind. Both of us grew up with large families made up of a mix of blood relatives, adopted relatives, and close friends. To us, family is what you make of it, and we are committed to creating a loving, supportive environment for our children, including their birth families. We have a close relationship with Cosima's birth family, including her mother, aunt, and birth grandparents. We see them every few months, text regularly, and share photos and phone calls. This relationship is built on love and open communication, and we look forward to doing the same for our next child.

Thank you again for reading about us. We send you love and support as you navigate this journey and make the best decision for you and your child. If you feel a connection, we'd love to get to know you better.

With very best wishes,

Davis & Miles