Our lifestyle is vibrant and varied. We have a steady foundation but we ensure we are always keeping things interesting. We love to host friends and family at our house for game nights, bbqs, karaoke competitions, etc. Each year, we take turns planning a mystery trip where the other person does not know anything about it. This year, Justin surprised Mary with a trip to Guatemala - she found out where we were going at the airport!

We love to balance hobbies and nights out with quiet, cozy time at home. We both prioritize work-life balance, ensuring that we don’t work long hours and making time for ourselves and each other. Justin is currently attempting to run every mile of our city. Mary is learning creative writing and (attempting) to make clothes in her spare time. You’ll often find them playing Racko at the dinner table or talking through a new binge-worthy show on Netflix or any of the other streaming sites they have and can’t keep up with!

Our lifestyle is one that is typically consistent, welcomes some chaos, makes time for each other’s individual growth, supports whirlwind trips to the Eras Tour in London (Mary went in June!), and tries to wring as much enjoyment out of life as we can.

Gus is one of THE most important parts of our lives. He is a 3 year old Cavachon, and the most fun thing we’ve ever done together (to date). He was a pandemic puppy and we only realized when he was five months old that he’d never actually been alone before (oops!). But that has been good practice on how to help this tiny thing - who has no idea what we are doing - adapt to our lives and also a crash course in humility on how to adapt our life to his.

For as much as we have given him, he has given us so much more. He has taught us valuable lessons in patience, unconditional love, empathy, self-sacrifice and gratitude. You have to really love Gus a whole lot to give up two nights of sleep to sit up with him when he had a bad reaction to anesthesia (Mary) or wake up every twenty minutes to take him out in the January cold when he had tummy troubles (Justin). But he makes it easy because he is the best, even when he’s eating our socks and scratching a hole in our door.

Being a parent means unconditional love. When we discussed raising a child, neither of us were concerned about whether our child would share our interests, or grow up to look or be like us. We are incredibly excited to see how our child develops and who they become, and will nurture their passions no matter what. We will love them completely, asking only that they strive to be a good person.

We are excited to be parents because we believe in the strength of our own relationship - we are a great team and will share parenting responsibilities. Justin is looking forward to watching Mary instill a feisty spirit and the ability to self-advocate in our child, and Mary will eagerly watch Justin teach our child empathy and curiosity about others. We see in each other qualities we want to foster in our child. Finally, we are excited that they will have such a strong support system. Justin’s parents are exceptional grandparents, and Mary’s parents will be as well. The baby will have at least one cousin their age to grow up with, as well as the children of many of our friends. We love the people that surround us, and cannot wait to share them with our child.

We’ve always defined family very broadly - ours is made up of both given and chosen loved ones. It includes people who have known us since birth and some who started out as friends but have become family along the way. We both have best friends of over 25 years that they consider siblings - diverse, smart, funny, talented people who help them feel seen, heard, loved, supported. Our families have knitted together, becoming friends themselves - some of them talk to each other even more than they talk to us! We laugh together - a lot! Whether it is with our family who live close by and are looking forward to helping with the baby on a day-to-day basis, or those who live further away who we stay connected to through frequent Zoom calls and fun family trips - laughter is the thread that ties both of our families together.

We like to host at our house - cooking and eating in our backyard, playing card games, and running around with our dog Gus. One of our favorite traditions is Pie Party, which we host twice per year - everyone is required to bring a pie. We end up very full and with a lot of leftovers but it keeps our family close. Everyone is very excited about the new addition! Our niece Juniper was born last year and we can’t wait to introduce her to her new cousin and playmate.

We live near the water in a historic neighborhood right outside of Washington, DC. You can see the Washington Monument from our street! Our home is a rowhouse with a finished basement and back patio. Justin makes sure that the flowers in the front yard bloom spring through fall, while Mary fills the entire inside of the house with small plants that stay green year round. Our child will have an upstairs bedroom right next to ours.

One of the best things about our neighborhood is how walkable it is. We walk to grocery stores, restaurants, the library, stores, and dog parks. We could walk to day care, elementary school, and middle school, and Mary’s parents live a 15-minute walk away. We have a very active neighborhood. There is a very nice recreation center one and a half blocks from our home with a pool, gym, and afterschool programming. There are playgrounds within walking distance as well.

There will be plenty of opportunities for our child to meet other children and play in a safe environment. Our town is very old so there are often family events held to celebrate the town’s history. For example, we have a Scottish parade and a St. Patrick’s Day parade each year where many children either participate or watch. As the town has people from many different countries, there are many international cultural festivals featuring different food, music, and art.

We cannot imagine how difficult and emotional the adoption decision must be for you. You will have many wonderful couples to choose from, so we are being very open and honest in this letter about who we are and what we envision for our child. We want you to be comfortable with your choice and know that you picked the right couple for you and your baby.

We are happy that American Adoptions has an “open adoption” model, so this letter and our pictures and video are not the only ways you will get to know us. If you choose us, we would love to get to know you further before the adoption. Even if that is not possible, we are fully committed to sending updates and pictures, and we are open to considering visits as the child grows older, depending on their comfort.

We have been married for a little over three years, and have been together for seven. We met at a karaoke bar through mutual friends. Mary’s first glimpse of Justin was him singing a 90s R&B classic, and Justin’s first sight of Mary was her singing back to him. It wasn’t love at first sight — we were friends at first — but as our friendship grew deeper we saw that we were right for each other. We share the same fundamental values: treat people with respect no matter who they are or how you meet them; assume good intent in others; be empathetic; be curious about the world; speak up for yourself and others; protect and love your family; and fill your life with as many experiences and laughter as you can stuff into it. However, we are definitely not the exact same. Mary is the “idea” person, constantly coming up with new projects, and Justin makes sure we focus and finish at least some of the projects! Justin described Mary in his wedding vows as a tornado, but instead of getting out of the way, Justin will always jump in her path so she can sweep him off to their next adventure.

We live a 15-minute walk from Mary’s parents. We see them and their two dogs a lot, and they are excited to be grandparents. Justin’s family is a bit spread out, but no one lives too far away. Justin has a great relationship with his mother, father, and sister. His sister just had a daughter, so our child will have a cousin around their age to play and grow up with. We have a wonderful network of family and friends that will help nurture them in their unique ways.

Mary is a woman of many hobbies. She writes fiction, sews, shops at vintage stores and bookshops (Justin begs her not to bring home too many books but has learned to live with piles of them in the house), takes fitness classes (she used to teach yoga), and even drums. Justin stays active by jogging and playing tennis, is a talented and accomplished singer, does musical theater, plays piano, and cheers on his Buffalo Bills and Georgetown Hoyas.

We are so looking forward to discovering what they will like to do and will always nurture and encourage their interests, even if they are not the same as ours. Maybe they will be musical, or athletic, or brilliant, extroverted, introverted…it doesn’t matter, as long as we teach them the values we mentioned earlier.

We have a wonderful marriage and relationship, and the two of us (as well as our good dog Gus!) have so much love to give. We are immensely grateful for your consideration. We know it is the biggest decision of your life, and it is the most significant decision we have ever made as well. If you feel a connection and that we are the right fit, we would love to get to know you and start a relationship so that you can rest easy knowing your baby is safe, cared for, and loved.

Justin & Mary