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Paul & Tia
We are a loving, joyous, close-knit, multiracial, and multicultural family looking for more love and joy to add with the great privilege of adopting your child. We'll welcome your child into our life with wide open arms and warm hearts. We'll shower them with love, laughter, snuggles, and the tools to blossom into their beautiful selves.
Why We Chose Adoption
We have a 2 ½ year-old son, Rumi and an 11 year-old (puppy) son Henri, who was Tia's first kiddo. Rumi is a kind, curious, and determined little guy. He has tons of energy, dances like nobody's watching, and is the king of the slide at the playground. He also loves a good snuggle (or "huggie" as Ru says), especially early in the morning and at bedtime. Henri is our 9-pound Maltese/Yorkie mix that has a heart of gold and eyes as deep as the sea, who incessantly watches over us, especially when we're sick or sad.
We were blessed with a second human son, Indra, who passed away about two months after he was born. He is always with us in our hearts wherever we go and whatever we do.
We have discussed adoption since before getting married. We've always been very excited at the prospect of being adoptive parents and viewing it as a gift to be able build our family that way. We both have personal experiences with adoption that piqued our individual interests early on. Tia grew up with two very close friends who were adopted children (of different races than their adoptive parents) and remain close with them to this day, as well as their adoptive parents. Paul is close friends with adoptive parents who have shared their experiences. It's fulfilling to see how much love transpires between adoptive parents and children we've encountered. It's particularly wonderful to see how children of ethnic and racial backgrounds other than what their adoptive parents are have opened one another's worlds up to new ways of thinking, loving, learning, and living.
Qualities We Love, Admire and Respect in Each Other
First and foremost, our relationship is built on mutual respect and support for each of us to individually be who we want to be. We allow each other to make decisions that guide our individual and family lives, encouraging personal and professional growth.
We are very different people, coming from unique backgrounds and families. Not only do we understand this, but we value this difference as a strength in our relationship. Given that both of us has been shaped by our families, it's not always easy to navigate our cultural differences. We have grown closer over time, though, by learning to appreciate and respect our different perspectives.
Paul: Tia feels and expresses love with more passion and heart than anyone I've ever known. My family always showed me a lot of love, but it was usually in a reserved way. When Tia loves someone, they feel it through and through. I am so blessed to be her husband for that reason.
Tia: Paul is an extremely thoughtful, intellectual and kind person. He is truly the best parent I've ever seen, and any child (human or otherwise) would be the luckiest to have him as a father. He is deliberate in his words and actions, and goes to the ends of the earth for his family and loved ones. He has added so much color and love to my life and I'm honored to have him as my husband, best-friend, co-parent, and father of my children.
Our Religious Beliefs
We are both spiritual and rely on our spirituality individually and as a couple to allow for what will be to be. We believe that everything happens for a reason, good and seemingly-bad. We pray, have faith, and love each other through the uncertainties of life. More specifically, Tia grew up in the Hindu faith and Paul grew up in the Christian faith. We still celebrate Hindu and Christian major holidays such as Durga Puja, Diwali, Christmas, and Easter.
We also practice elements of Buddhism, and are open to considering components of other religions as long as we are knowledgeable about the practices we participate in. This is the same approach we'll take with our children, and encourage them to find their own spirituality and faith as we lay down spiritual principles as a foundation for them to grow upon.
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Our House and Neighborhood
We live in a Western Michigan suburb that has a small-town feel, just a few minutes from a medium-sized city with many cultural, arts, and leisure activities (Grand Rapids).
Our suburb has its own downtown area that has a park/playground, lots of shops and restaurants (including Paul's restaurant!), and nature preserves. There are pedestrian paths that connect most of the community, so as our children get older, they will have easy access to many parks, sports fields, and other activities.
Our school district is regularly ranked among the best in Michigan.
Our town has community events throughout the year, including a farmer's market, music in the park that draws lots of families, and holiday activities like a Fourth of July parade and a large Christmas celebration.
With our two-year-old, we've become local park experts. Our son is not disappointed by the variety of playgrounds he has access to within a short car-ride of our home.
We currently live in a townhouse while we are building a new home. We live in a wonderful neighborhood with lots of children and dogs. It has three bedrooms upstairs, but we spend most of our time all together in the kitchen or living room.
Our Extended Families
We are very close with our parents on both sides. They visit at least monthly, and one set of them live just two hours away from us so we can easily go back and forth, spend time together, and support each other. Since we both work outside the home, our parents help watch our toddler son Rumi (Ru) the weeks when we're both working (on days when Ru's not in daycare). Our siblings and their families (including 5 nephews and another one on the way) live a bit farther in different states, but we make it a point for our families to reunite on both sides at least twice a year.
Since we are a multicultural family (quarter Swedish and half Indian) we maintain traditions from both sides including speaking the Bengali language (Indian dialect), cooking and eating Indian and Swedish foods (we excitedly eat food from any and all cultural cuisines), participating in Hindu and Christian religious and other spiritual practices (like attending pujas and celebrating Easter and Christmas), and enjoying classical Indian music as well as Norwegian TV shows.
Most notably, we're very warm and loving; this permeates amongst our immediate and extended families, and is a reflection of how we were both raised. We and our extended families truly can't wait to welcome your child into this vacuum of unwavering affection and resolute devotion, no matter their ethnicity, race, or gender.
From Us to You
We can't imagine what you're feeling as you read this letter. We're in awe of the immense love you must have for this baby to consider giving us the opportunity to raise them. We're very sensitive and vulnerable in writing this to you having experienced the loss of our child. Unlike in our situation, we wish for you to feel hopeful, a sense of relief, and assurance that this child will be absolutely taken care of, mind, heart and soul. We also don't want you to feel at all bad, guilty, or excluded from their life, which is partly why we've opted for an open adoption.
In addition to being blessed with our son (and our pup-son), having your precious little one join our family would truly be the greatest gift of our lives. We've been together as a couple for almost 7 years and got married in September 2019. From the start of our relationship we've discussed our mutual interest in becoming adoptive parents someday. The prospect of sharing our love with any child and children has been so exciting to us. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and for us it's important for Rumi to have a sibling who he can grow older with, learn from and with, have a close friendship with, and journey through life with. We dream about the sounds of their small giggles, roaring laughter, even waling cries, and the sights of wide smiles and innocent free beings running around us and snuggling us, creating a beautiful combination of commotion, joy, and vitality that we can call our family.
It's honestly not been easy to close the door on the chance of being biological parents to another child, but we have, and have excitedly opened the door wide open to a future as an adoptive family. We are fully committed to providing our children with the unconditional love and tools they need to flourish. We want you to be at peace knowing this child is in great hands, and that they'll be provided for emotionally, socially, spiritually, and financially. We'd treat them no differently than Rumi and ensure that they're fully integrated into our family no matter their race, ethnicity, or gender. We look forward to engaging in their culture whatever it may be and further cultivate the diverse facets of our family.
We want you to be as much or as little involved in their lives and our family as you'd like to be; we'd be happy to have phone calls, and send letters, emails, and pictures to you along the way, and are open to in-person visits as well. We view your involvement as enriching our child with more love and emotional support, and as enhancing transparency about their roots as they come to understand their story.
Lastly for now, our experiences have taught us to treasure every single moment in life, as individuals and with one another. We are already so grateful for your time and review of us as parents and cherish every second, minute, and hour we get to share with each other, Rumi and Henri, and will continue to infinitely cherish every bit of finite time we have with future children we are blessed with. Thank you so very much for your generosity and consideration to make our family whole.
Love,
Paul & Tia
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