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Peter & Katy
Thank you for taking the time to look at our profile and learn more about us. We know you are making a difficult and important decision about your baby's future and we will support your decisions. We love being parents to our daughter and hope that you will be able to help us make her into a big sister.
Adoption in Our Lives
Going through the process of adopting the first time clarified and strengthened our desire to be parents. We adopted our wonderful daughter Grace from birth. We were fortunate enough to have Grace's birth mother live nearby so we were able to get to know her and build a relationship prior to Grace's birth. Our daughter's open adoption has given us a new extended family, we regularly take Grace to see her birth mother and birth siblings. Seeing Grace and us has helped Grace's siblings understand Grace's adoption and become connected to her.
Grace will be a wonderful big sister! She regularly surprises us with her curiosity and kindness. We'll be putting away groceries and she'll take a big bite out of bell pepper or tell us she wants to eat a lemon. Anytime we're getting ready to go outside she insists on putting her own shoes on, zipping up her coat, and buckling herself into the stroller. When we're out walking and see other children in strollers Grace will walk up and start talking to them and give them a high five. When Grace sees another kid who is sad she will try and comfort them and ask us about why they are feeling sad. Everyone in the neighborhood knows Grace since she'll stop to wave to everyone showing them the stuffed animal she's carrying and excitedly greet them.
Our Lifestyle
We have an active lifestyle that is very supportive of each other's interests.
All three of us like to spend time enjoying the outdoors and try to spend time outside each day, weather permitting. When we can't spend time outside we try to go to a children's museum or an indoor activity place. Other family activities include cooking, dance parties, and going to the farmer's market.
Peter works from home while Katy works outside of the home. While we are at work Katy's parents watch Grace three days a week and a sitter (who Grace absolutely loves) watches her two days a week.
We make time to spend together with each other as a couple, like Friday night date night, and time for our individual interests. Peter has game nights and Katy has craft nights.
Cultural Diversity
As a mixed-race family we already celebrate the different cultures we each come from. Katy grew up in a mixed-race home with multiple cultures. As a result, incorporating different cultures into everyday life is something we are very familiar with. We have continued these traditions with our daughter and will be adding traditions as we find out more specifics about her background. For now we make sure that she is exposed to people, books, and toys that represent her multiple races and cultures and seek out activities that are culturally specific to her birth parents background. We also have close friends who are from different cultures than us and we share our cultures and traditions with each other. Many times we do this by sharing how to cook different traditional foods from our cultures with each other. As a result Peter has become good at mixing the masa for tamales and our friends learned how to bake Katy's family icebox cookies from the 1800's.
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Our House and Neighborhood
We live in a one-story brick house with a finished basement, which is Peter's favorite part of the house. Katy's favorite part of the house is the good sunlight in the living room, the kitchen, and the three season room. Grace's favorite part is the large picture window in the living room. She likes to look outside at all of the people and dogs out for walks, along with watching for wild animals, cars, rain, and snow.
Our neighborhood is great for kids and families. There are music class, swim lessons, summer day camp, a lake, and lots of other activities within walking distance of our house. There are also multiple parks and lots of other kids around our daughter's age. Our street is very quiet, but we are a short walk from several restaurants, small grocery stores, and other businesses. The neighborhood has a very friendly atmosphere with community events like a fourth of July festival and summer concerts in the park.
Our Extended Families
We both have large extended families, some close to us and others far away. Our local family likes to get together in a big group for holidays or special events, or as Peter says, "They will find any excuse to have a party." We will meet at someone's house or at a park and every one will bring some food to share, there is always lots of fun and good conversation. Two special holidays in Katy's family are St. Patrick's Day and Mardi Gras. Our family cooks lots of traditional Irish and Creole dishes on these days.
For our family that lives out of town we like to take vacations to visit each other whenever possible. We have chances to visit family all across the country and internationally. This includes the annual Thanksgiving trip to visit Peter's Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. Since we can't spend all of our time traveling we also use video calls to stay in touch with our family that live out of town. This includes weekly video calls with Peter's parents when they are snowbirding and with Katy's cousins down south.
From Us to You
Thank you for reading our letter, we know you are making very important and difficult decisions. Please know that you have our full support no matter what you decide.
We met at a Sci-Fi club in college and got engaged after only five months of dating, fifteen years of marriage later we are still going strong. The core of our relationship is loving and supporting each other, this allows us to grow as individuals while staying strong as a couple and as parents. We support each other's interests and help each other accomplish goals. Peter supported Katy while she was in grad school and the local fire department, Katy supported Peter during his research and conference presentations.
Our daughter is two years old, she has lots of energy and is very curious about the world around her. She is very caring and compassionate towards younger children. At library story times she will bring toys over to younger kids who can't get around on their own yet to get the toy. If she sees a baby crying she wants to help comfort the baby with a hug or pacifier. She plays well with kids in our neighborhood and our friends' kids. Grace will be an amazing big sister. We both enjoy having siblings and we want to give Grace the chance to have a sibling relationship. We think it is very important for our kids to have a sibling with an adoption story. They will always have someone who understands what it is like on a level that we as parents can't provide.
The three of us have different cultural backgrounds that we have shared with each other, making diversity very important to us. Peter is White, Katy is Mixed with a Black parent and a White parent, Grace is mixed with an African birth parent and a White birth parent. Because half of Katy's family is black she is aware of issues our daughter will face as she grows up and will be able to help her prepare for them. We know the importance of acknowledging and celebrating our differences and being open to other cultures that we are not a part of. We plan to celebrate the cultures of all members of our family and make them part of our daily life. We also have close friends who are from different cultures than us and we share our cultures and traditions with each other. We feel this is a good way to learn about the world and other people, so we can understand where people from cultures and races different from our own are coming from.
We have a very open adoption with our daughter's birth mother. We have a photo sharing app for our extended family where we post pictures and videos weekly. Grace's birth mom is part of the family group on the app and can look at the pictures any time she wants. We also text from time to time, with updates on the kids. We live in the same area so it is easy to get together, once a month or every other month, and give our kids a chance to play together. It has really helped her bio brothers understand and process what happened. It also means that as she grows up if she has questions it will be much easier for her to get answers. We understand that this is more open than most open adoptions, and we understand if you are not open to this level of openness. We hope this adoption will be very open, but acknowledge it will depend on many things including geography and your level of comfort.
Thank you for taking the time to read our letter and consider our family.
With love and support,
Peter & Katy
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