Is it Hard to Put a Newborn Baby Up for Adoption? [Common Questions]

At American Adoptions, we make the adoption process as easy as possible for you because we know that making this decision is difficult enough on its own. Remember: If you need immediate support, call us now at 1-800-ADOPTION.

If you are considering adoption for your baby, you have likely read detailed accounts of the adoption process. But you may be wondering, what is it really like to go through this process as a prospective birth mother? Is it hard to put a baby up for adoption?

The truth is it can be very emotionally difficult, not only to make an adoption decision and complete the adoption process, but also to adjust to life after placement. In fact, for many women facing an unplanned pregnancy, this can be one of the most challenging decisions and experiences of a lifetime — but it may also be the best thing you ever do.

“If I could reach out to every girl going through adoption, I would let them know that you will be OK,” birth mother Mendy said. “Yes, there are emotions and a lot of hurt, but it fades, especially knowing that what you are doing is truly amazing and the best thing for the baby.”

While American Adoptions cannot erase the pain and difficulty of placement, we do offer a wealth of services and resources to help make this process easier. Here, learn more about the support you can expect from American Adoptions when making an adoption plan for your baby.  

How easy is the process of putting a baby up for adoption?

You probably already know that adoption can be an emotionally complicated process, but when it comes to the logistics, how easy is it to “give up” a child for adoption?

At American Adoptions, we do everything we can to make this process as simple as possible for you. You will have your own adoption specialist to guide you through each step of the way. This licensed professional will help you explore all of your options, provide the emotional counseling and support you need, and do everything he or she can to make the adoption process as smooth as possible for you, so you don’t have to worry about finding an adoptive family or completing legal paperwork on your own.

“I could not have asked for a better set of people in my life,” birth mother Erika said about her adoption social workers. “They made the whole process amazing… I never went back and forth with my decision, but it was still a tough decision. I don’t know how I would have done it without [my adoption specialist] Shannon.”

Is it difficult to “give up” a baby for adoption emotionally?

For birth parents that have placed a child for adoption and those in the middle of the process, the statement that placing a child for adoption can be difficult may seem obvious. But our adoption specialists often receive questions like these from women facing an unplanned pregnancy: “Is giving a baby up for adoption hard?”

In terms of the process itself, we’ll make that as easy as possible. But in terms of the emotions you experience, yes — for most women, it is very hard to “give your baby up” for adoption.

Every woman’s experience is different, and different birth parents have different ways of coping with the emotions of the adoption process. However, most birth parents go through a grief process while making an adoption plan and after placing their child for adoption. It is common to experience feelings of anger, shock, sadness, fear, guilt and more.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s really hard,” Julia said about her feelings toward adoption. “There were plenty of times when I felt like I was scared… but I felt like it was the right decision for me — and I still feel like that today.”

If you want to ask a birth mother who has been in your shoes, you can always reach out to Michelle, who is a birth mother herself, and ask her questions about the emotions that you might experience in your own adoption process. Reading stories from birth mothers who have placed a baby for adoption and experienced all the emotions that come with it can also help you to understand what adoption is like for some women.

We’re here for you 24/7, and our counseling services are free. Your adoption specialist will be there to support you through whatever you’re feeling at every stage of the adoption process and beyond to make this time as easy for you as possible.

How easy is it to find an adoptive parent while pregnant?

Finding the perfect adoptive parents for your baby can seem overwhelming at first, and many women are concerned about finding someone to adopt their child. Many expectant mothers ask us, “How hard is it to find adoptive parents for a newborn?”

With American Adoptions, you are in complete control of this process — but your adoption specialist will do much of the work for you. When you work with American Adoptions, finding the right adoptive parents for your baby is typically very easy.

You can tell your adoption specialist exactly what you’re looking for in an adoptive family (and if you’re not sure, she can help you think through those decisions). Your adoption specialist will then send you as many profiles as you need until you find a family that stands out to you.

“I spent the next several weeks combing through what must have been dozens of wonderful families. Then, I found them — the couple that I immediately felt connected to,” birth mother Carmen said about searching for an adoptive family. “Once we found each other, it was as if we were attending a normal family get-together. We laughed and talked and enjoyed each other’s company. I grew to know and care for them — not only as the couple that would become the parents of my unborn son, but as friends and family.”

When you are ready, you can get to know the adoptive family through phone calls, email, text messages and more. And if you’re not sure that the adoptive family is the right fit for your baby, you can repeat the process as many times as necessary until you find exactly what you’re looking for.

We work with hundreds of hopeful parents throughout the country, all waiting for a woman like you to make their dreams of parenthood come true. Because we work with so many adoptive families and offer thorough screening and matching services, you will find the perfect adoptive parents for your baby, no matter what your situation is.

Finding the right adoptive family can make you feel more confident and certain of your adoption decision. While adoption is still a difficult process, knowing that you are making the best possible choice for your child, and knowing that he or she will grow up in a loving home, can make all the difference in how you feel about your adoption experience.

If you want to start searching for adoptive parents, you can browse our waiting families now.

Other Common Questions About Challenges of the Adoption Process

“Is it easy to ‘give up’ for adoption? Is adoption really giving up?”

No. “Giving up” means quitting or resigning oneself to failure, and it can make choosing adoption seem like an easy, selfish or flippant decision. You are not giving up by choosing adoption. Even though it’s common to hear people refer to adoption as “giving up” a child, this language does not accurately reflect the difficult and loving decision that adoption is.

“You know, there’s that ignorance that you’re ‘giving up’ the children, when you do not ‘give up’ a human being. In reality, you’re choosing something for them… I know a lot of people try to hide it because they’re ashamed of it, and you shouldn’t be. You made a big and hard decision for what was best for your child, and you should be proud of that,” said Casey about choosing to give her twins the best life possible through adoption.

“Is giving your child up for adoption hard financially?” 

No. It’s free to place a child for adoption. You are making an incredibly important decision, and financial concerns should not be adding to your stress. All of American Adoptions’ services are offered at no cost to you, and you may also get help paying certain living expenses during your pregnancy.

“How easy is it to get adoption counseling and support?” 

Very easy. Your adoption specialist will be available to you any time, day or night, to provide the emotional support and counseling you need — when you need it. This service is also available to you for free. You can get support right now by calling 1-800-ADOPTION, regardless of where you are in your adoption or decision-making process.

“How hard is it to find adoptive parents who meet my criteria?” 

Not hard at all. American Adoptions is a national adoption agency, which means we work with the most adoptive families of every type, all over the country. This ensures that you’ll have options to find the perfect adoptive family for your baby.

Through careful adoption planning, you can choose the adoption situation that is right for you and your baby. With this adoption plan in place, you can rest assured knowing that the details of the adoption will be handled and all of your wishes will be followed.

You can search for the type of adoptive family you envision for your baby online, and ask an adoption specialist for help if you don’t see the right family online.

“Is giving up a baby up for adoption hard on the mom after placement?”

Yes. For many women (and men), the emotions felt after placement can be very difficult. But American Adoptions’ services and support do not end with placement. Your adoption specialist will continue to be available to offer the ongoing counseling and support you may need after the adoption.

“The only way for me to get through my sorrow was to see [the adoptive family’s] joy. And still today it gets me through. If you can find comfort and peace with your decision, you’ll not only get a second chance to life, but your baby will too,” said Sara about coping with adoption. “Not to mention giving two wonderful people the greatest gift one could ever give. Adoption can be a wonderful, positive experience. Mine was, especially with being able to have the people involved that I did.”

“Is it hard to put a child up for adoption and still keep in touch with him/her?” 

Not at all. Choosing open adoption makes staying in touch an easy and straightforward process. All of our adoptive families are committed to openness, so you can always know your child and remain an important part of his or her life. While making an adoption decision is rarely easy, sometimes knowing that you can keep in touch with your child can make it easier to process your feelings of grief and loss.

“Knowing that I can be around and be there — I don’t even know how to put it into words… I’m like a cheerleader on the sideline, and that’s more than I could have asked for,” Caitlin said of her open adoption relationship. “He gets this family who can take care of him and do everything I couldn’t, but he can also know that I didn’t just give him away. I had a purpose for him, and it was meant to be.”

“How hard is it to put a newborn baby up for adoption legally?”

We’ll walk you through the legal processes of adoption, step by step, so that it’s as easy as possible for you and connect you with an adoption attorney who will be there to make sure you’re always fully informed of your legal rights and choices.

Your adoption specialist is committed to helping you feel as comfortable as possible during the adoption process. These are just some of the services American Adoptions provides to make your adoption experience easier and decrease the difficulty of “giving a child up” for adoption.

“How hard is it to make an adoption plan later in my pregnancy?”

It is never too late to choose adoption for your baby, regardless of how far along you are in your pregnancy or even if your baby has already been born.

No matter when you decide to start the adoption process, you will be in control of all the important decisions, and your adoption specialist will be there to guide you through every step. In most ways, it is no more difficult to place a baby for adoption at the end of your pregnancy than at the beginning.

“What if I’m having difficulty deciding to give up a baby for adoption?”

Making the decision to place a child for adoption is never easy.

It is very common and normal to struggle with this decision when you are facing an unplanned pregnancy. If you need help exploring all of your unplanned pregnancy options — not just adoption — you can call our hotline for free, unbiased advice. Adoption specialists are available 24/7 to give you the support you need.

To learn more about our waiting families and the emotional and financial support we offer during the adoption process, call 1-800-ADOPTION or contact us online at any time to speak with an adoption specialist.

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