In many ways, the adoption process is different for expectant parents and adoptive parents. However, you might be surprised by the similarities.
Pregnant women considering adoption and hopeful adoptive parents often have the same thoughts, fears and hopes. Here are 7 thoughts that birth and adoptive parents both have during the adoption process:
1. “Is adoption the right choice for me?”
Adoption isn’t the right path for every pregnant woman or every hopeful parent. Is it the right path for you? Every expectant and adoptive parent will ask themselves this question at least once in their adoption journey. That’s normal!
Adoption isn’t easy. But, for many people, it’s absolutely the right choice. Only you can decide if it’s the right choice for you.
Reflect on the reasons that led you to consider adoption in the first place. Are those reasons still important? Probably.
Asking your American Adoptions specialists any questions you have, or talking about your concerns can help you feel more clear in your decision. We’ll be there to support you, no matter what you decide.
2. “This is all a bit overwhelming.”
You’ll both be faced with a lot of choices, paperwork and emotions. The adoption process can feel like a bit of a whirlwind, for both parties!
But, keep your eyes on the “prize:” The happiness and security of this child.
We know it can all feel pretty complicated and intimidating. Remember that your American Adoptions specialist will be there to walk you through each step, so you can proceed with the information and confidence you need.
3. “Can parents love an adopted child as much as a biological one?”
Absolutely. Time and time again, this has proven to be true. However, that doesn’t stop the prospective birth and adoptive parents from worrying about it.
Trust in the years of experience that your American Adoptions specialist has when she tells you that the love between parents and children is not affected by biology. Expectant and adoptive parents can both take comfort in seeing the love that exists in the many families American Adoptions has brought together.
4. “What if they don’t like me?”
Adoptive parents are worried that the pregnant women viewing their adoption profile won’t like them. Expectant parents are worried that the adoptive parents (or even their child) won’t like them. There are a lot of nerves about the relationships involved in adoption.
Take a breath. When a prospective birth mother chooses an adoptive family they’re in this journey together. Your American Adoptions specialist will be there to ease you through those first meetings, and help you to form a strong relationship that will hopefully last a lifetime.
There will be a lot of love in your adoption: Between the birth and adoptive parents, and the child at the heart of the adoption.
5. “I’m scared.”
It’s normal to be scared. But, it can be comforting to remember that both parties are afraid!
When you feel nervous, lean on your support system. Expectant and adoptive parents can talk to one another, they can talk to their American Adoptions specialists, or they can turn to their loved ones for support.
Both the expectant and adoptive parents are facing a lot of unknowns, so it’s natural to be scared. But, you never have to feel that way on your own!
6. “Can I really do this?”
You can!
Birth and adoptive parents have a difficult journey ahead of them, full of ups and downs. They both anticipate the arrival of the baby with a mix of excitement and fear.
You may find yourself wondering (maybe more than once) if you’re really strong enough for this adoption journey. You are! Take courage in the peace of so many birth and adoptive families before you, and remember that you’re stronger than you think.
What’s more, you won’t be facing this journey alone. Birth and adoptive parents will have the support of each other, their loved ones and their American Adoptions specialists throughout their adoption process and beyond.
7. “It wasn’t easy, but everything happened as it was supposed to.”
Adoption is never easy — for anyone involved. After all, it all begins with loss.
Many adoptive parents lose and grieve the experience of having a biological child. The birth parents lose and grieve the experience of raising this child themselves. The adoptee loses and grieves one family in order to gain another.
But, even after the loss, there is so much joy in adoption. That peace and sense of “rightness” won’t come right away. First, the losses must be grieved. But with some time and love, birth and adoptive parents often say how everything “ended up the way it was supposed to.”
There is often a sense of “meant to be.”
Everyone’s adoption experience is different. But, whether you’re an expectant parent or an adoptive parent, it can be comforting to know that you’re thinking many of the same things! You are experiencing this journey together, and you’ll continue to experience it together. Through it all, your American Adoptions specialists will be there to help.
