Adoption is a life-changing journey. You’ve been given the wonderful opportunity to welcome a new family member into your lives.
Whether you have a semi-open or open adoption with the birth mother, you may want to know how to acknowledge her brave, selfless decision to create a brighter future for all parties involved.
Although adoption can seem like the process is finished after placement, your open adoption gives you the chance to form a lifelong connection where you’ll be able to honor the birth mother.
There are many different ways you can honor the birth mother; there’s no one right way to go about it. But if you want to know how to show her how much you appreciate her, here are some ideas:
Send a Thank-You Note
It seems simple, and you may have already told the birth mother how thankful you are for her choosing you as the adoptive parents.
Still, a kind thank-you note or a bouquet of flowers lets her know, once again, how much this opportunity has changed your life. Such a gesture can go a long way.
Plan Meetups or Phone Calls with the Birth Mother
Zoom calls, phone calls and in-person visits are just a few ways that you can stay in touch with your child’s birth mother. Defining the level and modes of communication may have already happened during the adoption process, so this is a way to deliver on your promise!
One way to honor the birth mother is to respect those wishes for how she wants to communicate and how often. Depending on her preferences, you could even go the extra mile and send her periodic photos and emails of the many joyous milestones you’ll experience in the coming years.
Keep Family Traditions Alive
As you begin life with your new family, one of the most exciting things you’ll get to go through is the memories you make from vacations, family events and other priceless experiences.
Birth mothers choose adoptive families for many different reasons; there’s no pre-requisite for a birth mother to know when she’s found the perfect adoptive family.
Maybe she was drawn to your family because you both share the same heritage. Maybe she was drawn to you because you knew how special her culture is to her, and she wanted her child to experience that as they grew up, whether it was with her or an adoptive family.
You can honor the birth mother by keeping that culture alive with your new baby. How that looks is different for every family.
That could mean introducing your baby to their native language early on or even taking them to visit the places of their ancestors as they grow older.
Just like there’s no pre-requisite for the birth mother to know who the perfect adoptive family will be, there’s no pre-requisite for how to honor the birth mother. Be creative and respectful in keeping the culture alive!
Celebrate Birth Mother’s Day
You may have heard of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but did you know there’s a Birth Mother’s Day? It’s the Saturday before Mother’s Day in May.
It was originally founded in 1990 by a group of birth mothers in Seattle who wanted to support each other. It has since evolved to recognize all birth mothers that have made the loving decision to place their baby up for adoption.
You can honor the birth mother on Birth Mother’s Day by:
- Talking to your child about their birth mother
- Doing something to help your child feel connected to their birth mother
- Making something for the birth mother
If you need help drumming up some ideas and want to think of a beautiful way to honor the birth mother, then you can always contact us online. We’re committed to you in the long term, not just after the adoption is finished.
