Today is National Adoption Day, which grew from the grassroots efforts of adoption professionals, adoptive families, law firms, state foster care agencies, child advocates and courts. Since it began in 2000, almost 50,000 children have had their adoptions finalized on National Adoption Day in courts across the United States.
We know we wouldn’t be able to impact the lives of the children, birth parents and adoptive families we work with without the expertise and support of these dedicated individuals all across the country. So from the American Adoptions Family to all of the adoption professionals we work with, we want to give you a sincere thank you for all you do. It takes a village to complete an adoption, and no doubt, we’ve got the best villagers!
This month, we reached out to some of the professionals that we’re blessed to work with – Judge Kathleen Lynch in Kansas and Attorneys Eric C. Freeby in Texas and Jean M. Cavaliere in New Jersey – to ask them about some of their favorite adoption memories as well as their personal adoption connections.
Enjoy the video and stories below, and don’t forget to visit our facebook page for photos of adoption finalizations!
Judge Kathleen Lynch
What is it like to walk adoptive parents or birth parents through an adoption?
Many times what I see is that parents find themselves in a position where they didn’t ever expect themselves to be parents and they’re not able to care for the child. And as much as they love the child, they know what’s best for the child is for the child to be placed for adoption. And they either contact an agency or an attorney. And that’s how things get started. There are lots of parents who want to be adoptive parents out there, and it’s amazing to see a family come together. When the mothers relinquish (under certain circumstances I have to preside of the relinquishment of parental rights for both fathers and mothers), it’s those moments that always stay with you. I’m getting a little teary-eyed just thinking about it because I’m a mother myself. I can’t imagine being in a situation and knowing that I couldn’t take care of my children and how difficult that would be, but it’s one of the most selfless things that I see people do. They’re making the biggest sacrifice they can make for their child by placing them with someone who can care for them because, in present circumstances, they’re not able to.
Does anything stand out in particular about any adoptions that have occurred during National Adoption Month?
National Adoption Month is always fun because we try and set up the Friday before Thanksgiving and we always try to keep that open because it’s a fun day. I have presided over the adoption for a court personnel who was adopting their child through the foster care system. I have presided on National Adoption Day over a sibling group of six. I have seen little, tiny babies that were just a few days old. I have seen parents that have flown in from as far away as Israel to be adoptive parents here in the United States. So I can’t really say that I do have one particular favorite moment. But I do have a moment where one of the siblings of the infant that was being adopted was I think a little put out that he was not the focus of things. So I had him come up and sit on my lap and that seemed to soothe things over pretty well.
Eric C. Freeby, P.C.
Do you have any favorite adoption memories or stories?
I was finalizing an adoption in court and the adoptive father was an imposing Marine sergeant in his dress blues. I am 6’1”, but this adoptive father towered over me, and he looked and acted like a stereotypical Marine drill sergeant. However, as I began to ask the adoptive father questions, he was so overcome with emotion that I had to ask the adoptive mother the rest of his questions. That man loved his daughter.
Does anything stand out in particular about any adoptions that have occurred during National Adoption Month?
Five siblings in foster care were about to be split apart so the young children could be adopted, but a family stepped up and adopted all five of the children. The children’s faces once I finalized the adoption are one of the reasons I love my job as an adoption attorney.
How has adoption impacted your own life?
Adoption has impacted both my personal and professional life. My father was adopted, and we recently discovered his birth family and are in the process of reaching out to my birth aunts, uncles and cousins. Also, adoption is the reason I love my job. Each day I come to work, I get to play a role in helping children and creating a family.
What is it like to walk adoptive parents or birth parents through an adoption?
The walk with both adoptive parents and birth parents is filled with love. The birth parents love the child enough to make the selfless and difficult decision of placing the child for adoption. On the other side, the adoptive parents always amaze me with their immediate unconditional love for their new child.
Jean M. Cavaliere, Esq.
Do you have any favorite adoption memories or stories?
One of my favorite adoption memories involves a Nebraska couple who adopted a baby born to a New Jersey birth mother. I represented the New Jersey birth mother. The birth mother was discharged from the hospital prior to the baby and prior to the adoptive parents’ arrival in New Jersey. Before her discharge, the birth mother signed an authorization permitting me to take custody of the baby for the purpose of transferring custody to the adoptive couple. The hospital was very accommodating and agreed to discharge the baby in the evening to allow the couple time to get to New Jersey. By the time the couple arrived at the hospital, it was around 9:00 p.m. When I greeted the couple at the hospital, they were visibly distressed. The airline had lost their most valuable possession – the baby’s car seat! Of course, the baby could not be discharged without a car seat. I remained at the hospital with the adoptive mother and rallied my husband John to find an open Walmart with the adoptive father. That took several hours, but the trip was successful, and they arrived back at the hospital with a car seat. The hospital then discharged the baby to me, and I placed the baby in the adoptive mother’s arms. Her husband put his arms around her, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. They were a family. John told me how moved he was by that scene. He understood in that moment why I do what I do.
How has adoption impacted your own life?
I have two cousins who were adopted. Of my two closest childhood friends, one is an adoptee and the other became an adoptive mother. I am now an adoption attorney, so it is interesting how adoption has touched all of our lives.
What is it like to walk adoptive parents or birth parents through an adoption?
The most important thing is to be able to put yourself in their position. Placing a baby for adoption or bringing a child into your life through adoption is an incredibly emotional and life-changing event. The professionals involved in helping the parties through this process need to be patient and emotionally sensitive. I also try to be very clear and direct when explaining the practical and legal steps. That often requires explaining something more than once and putting it in writing for them. While the rewards are immeasurable, they are no guarantees in adoption, and it’s important for clients to have a realistic understanding of the risks involved.
