There will be moments in your adoption process when you will feel challenged, vulnerable, and nervous with the weight of your baby’s future on your shoulders. But you don’t have to go through this on your own, and no one can or should think less of you for reaching out for help. The support of your loved ones will be invaluable and necessary. But so is the compassion and empathy that you’ll receive from your adoption specialist, who is available 24/7.
Whether you are already well into your adoption plan, or you’re just starting to unpack your emotions, here are the top five times when it’s especially important to reach out to an adoption specialist.
1. When You’re First Considering Adoption and Want to Explore Your Options
Telling yourself what you’ll do in the event of an unexpected pregnancy is one thing, but actually making the decision is a completely different ballgame. The truth is that you’re not going to know ahead of time how you’re going to respond after you see the positive symbol on a nervously‐purchased drugstore pregnancy test. It’s going to take a lot of time to think about your options, and you’ll waver between your gut feelings and doing what you know in your heart is the right decision for your baby.
While your adoption specialist won’t be able to make this emotional decision for you, they can, and will, be with you every step of the way. Whether that means sending brochures and resources about your unplanned pregnancy options — abortion, adoption, and parenting — or giving you as much reassurance as you need, your adoption specialist will always be there to support you as you make this choice. Prospective birth mothers come from all walks of life, and you will never be pressured into a decision that you’re not ready for. No matter which unplanned pregnancy option you’re ready to learn about, an adoption specialist can make it possible.
2. When You’re Unsure if Adoption is Right for You
We’re not going to lie to you and say that you’ll absolutely never waver in your adoption decision. You will, at some point or another, doubt every choice that has led you down this path. You’re only human, and it’s okay to let yourself go through this natural process as a prospective birth mother.
But you are the one calling the shots in your adoption from the very first phone call, and as such, you can always change your mind at any time — even when you’re holding your baby in your arms in the delivery room. If you think adoption is not quite right for you, or if you’re simply having a moment of doubt or confusion, an adoption specialist will help you sort through those feelings and determine the right unplanned pregnancy option for you — whether you decide that’s adoption or not.
3. When Your Situation Has Changed
It’s terrifying to think about, but your living arrangements, employment and your relationship with the birth father can change because of and during your adoption plan. If you’re in a situation where you unsure of where you’re going to be sleeping or you’ve lost the support of the birth father and his family, please let your adoption specialist know as soon as possible. They want to help you, and they will do everything they can to make sure that you’re safe. They can help you find new living arrangements, arrange for financial assistance, make a plan for moving forward based on your relationship with your baby’s birth father and more. An adoption specialist can even help you relocate, should you need to. It’s completely normal for circumstances to change during the course of your pregnancy, so keep your adoption specialist up to date. She can help you make an adoption plan no matter what your circumstances are.
4. When You Just Need Advice
The loneliest moments of your life may be centered around your unique experience as a potential birth mother, and you might change more than you expected at the beginning of your adoption plan. Your friends and family might pretend that they know what’s best, but you are the one making all of the important decisions. When you’re unsure of big decisions, like how to pick the right adoptive family, or when you have questions like, “Will adoption make my child hate me?” call your adoption specialist. Sometimes all that you need is validation that you’re making the right decision for your baby.
5. When You Want to Talk About Your Options for Post‐Placement Contact
There are three different options for a relationship with the adoptive family long‐term after the birth of your baby: A semi‐open adoption, a closed adoption, and an open adoption. While this decision is ultimately up to you, you can always talk to an adoption specialist if you feel unsure. While some amount of communication can be beneficial for everyone in the adoption triad, you are the deciding factor in this decision. The adoptive family that you choose will be open to whatever you’re comfortable with.
No question is too big or small when it comes to adoption. No matter how ready you think you are, there will always be a situation that you never expected. Talking with an empathetic adoption specialist can help you find the answers you’re looking for. Whenever you’re ready, call 1‐800‐ADOPTION at any time. Our hotline is always free, and you’ll never be pressured into continuing your adoption plan if you change your mind.
