With hope, you will endure the string of weeks or months while you wait for the details of your adoption story to unfold. My husband and I have a very unique adoption story that began in April 2017. Waiting has become the tune we hum on repeat, serving as the background song of our everyday life. Through a miraculous pregnancy to a failed adoption and everything in between, we march forward in great anticipation for the climax of what will be.
Having experienced one holiday season and now coming up on another during our adoption story, we can feel overwhelmed or more emotional during a time meant for celebration. Last year, we were the topic of most conversations at the dinner table or different holiday parties where questions were being asked and advice freely given. I don’t know if last year we were unprepared to answer so many questions about how our adoption was going or if we didn’t quite realize the interest people would have in knowing our story.
We learned that almost everyone in our circle of friends and family had their own interpretation of what adoption looked like or what was required to see it come to fruition, and people were not shy about sharing their comments or opinions with us. After sharing their own version of adoption facts, we better understood that most views were not quite accurate but that those around us really wanted to be supportive. After the first few gatherings we attended, we felt like we were interrogated from every angle and by all ages of people about where we were in our adoption, what the next step was, and why we hadn’t been matched with a child yet. My husband and I decided that as hard as it can be to talk about adoption when the waiting can be difficult, we wanted to use every opportunity to be open about our journey and share our feelings honestly with those who were asking. And what better occasion than during the holidays, when everyone gets together to talk about a great hope and boundless anticipation of an exciting road we are on?
When we began to talk freely about all the requirements of adoption, everything we had completed to be on this journey, and how waiting was the next step we would embrace, questions turned into more questions, which turned into encouragement and a better understanding of the highs and lows of an adoption. When people understood that some days we were anxious about our continual wait, they sympathized with our feelings. If we shared about stressors that we have sometimes about the financial expectation involved in an adoption, they asked about ways they could help. As we talked about how our family prays for a momma that we don’t yet know, our friends and family are reminded that we have an abundant hope in the story that is still being written.
Instead of dreading the holiday season and trying to duck away from the relative with a big opinion or the cousin sharing a multitude of pictures showing their new baby, take the opportunity to celebrate your story and how God is writing it. Just like no family is the same, no adoption story or even details of adding a child to a family is the same. We have learned through our journey that our openness and honesty in welcoming others into the particulars of how our adoption is unfolding has brought people together, reduced the amount of awkward comments, and raised more support for our family even in our time of waiting. Hang tight during the holidays, and proclaim a hopeful anticipation as the interrogation begins.
Jill is a 31-year-old wife and mom. She has been married to her husband, Brannon, for eight years and has 4-year-old and 3-month-old daughters. Jill and her husband are currently in the adoption process to bring another baby into their home. Jill lives in a small community in Kentucky. She has her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Spanish and obtained her Master’s degree in Christian Ministries. Jill’s passions are her faith, her family, writing, playing sports, and eating good food.
