On this Father’s Day Weekend, we wanted to honor some of the adoptive fathers that have helped make American Adoptions the agency that it is today!
American Adoptions was founded by adoptee Scott Mars and his adoptive mother Susan Mars. Although Scott’s adoptive father Ted spent most of his career in business, he was instrumental in the beginnings of American Adoptions and still serves on the board with his wife and son.
Like many couples, Ted and Susan were unable to have children biologically.
“I promised myself if I was ever allowed to become a father I would do the very best I could do as a parent. We wondered if God thought we were not fit to become parents. Finally, He allowed us to become parents through adoption,” Ted says. “The day the adoption agency placed my son in my arms, I became a father, a king and the proudest man on earth. I could not believe God was entrusting us with his finest creation, a child. I have no way to say what it is like to become a natural father, but I can tell you there is no way it could be any better than adopting a child. I could not love a natural child any more, or maybe even as much as my adopted son.”
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More recently, American Adoptions Executive Director Shawn Kane and his wife Amy welcomed a second child into their family through adoption. Although the couple has one biological son, Harper, who is two-and-a-half years old, they were unable to have other children biologically. Ultimately, the couple decided adoption was the right option for them.
Due to Shawn’s conflict of interest as the Executive Director of American Adoptions, the couple chose to pursue an independent adoption with the help of several adoption attorneys. But without the assistance of a full-service agency like American Adoptions, the couple was less financially and emotionally protected during their adoption process. They were victims of an adoption scammer and experienced two additional disruptions, losing several thousand dollars each time. Shawn and Amy also had to manage their own advertising mediums and network for themselves across the country.
“I’ve been working in the industry for so long, and I talk about these things with couples, but it’s different living through them because of the emotions,” Shawn says. “And then you yearn to have a child when you get to that point, and it’s the only thing you can think about. And you see other families with siblings or kids and that triggers those thoughts.”
But in November 2011, Shawn and Amy were contacted about a birth mother living in Kansas. Without even proof of pregnancy, they drove to her small town to accompany her to a prenatal doctor’s visit. And although it was awkward at first, the couple bonded quickly with the woman, visiting her several times a month until her due date and developing a healthy open relationship that continues today.
“It’s just funny because over the period of several months, you start out being scared of birth parents to falling in love with them,” Shawn says. “I know we’ve always heard that in adoption. It can be really shocking to most adoptive parents, the stereotype of what they think a birth mom is to the real person that you actually get to meet.”
On January 28, 2012, Shawn and Amy welcomed baby Claire into their family. Amy was in the delivery room, and Shawn was able to meet her just minutes later. Harper is doing great with Claire, now almost five months old, and the couple can’t wait to see them grow up together as siblings.
“I think for us, it’s this sense of contentment and joy,” Shawn says. “We feel like a complete family, where there was this missing piece. I don’t even know how to describe it, but I know that all adoptive parents would understand what I’m talking about. It’s this sense that you feel incomplete without your family, and now that you have your family, you just feel a sense of oneness.”
Check back in a couple of weeks for the rest of Shawn, Amy, Harper and Claire’s adoption story, including details about the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) legal process that the couple navigated when they learned that Claire had Native American heritage.
If you’re waiting to adopt and struggling to be cheery this weekend, revisit our post on How to Stay Upbeat This Mother’s Day. Wishing you and yours a Happy Father’s Day Weekend!
