How can I find the perfect adoptive family for my baby?
American Adoptions hears a lot of questions from prospective birth mothers. This is unquestionably one of the most common. As you know, a mother chooses adoption for her baby because of profound love. You have hopes for your baby’s life, and those hopes will rest in the arms of the adoptive family you choose. How can you make sure you get it right?
The most important thing to do is work with an excellent adoption agency. You want an agency that is experienced, ethical and fully equipped to support you during the adoption process. American Adoptions has been serving expectant mothers for more than 25 years, and our adoption specialists would be happy to show you why we are a trusted adoption professional when you call 1-800-ADOPTION.
Once you are working with the right agency, there are a few important factors to keep in mind when choosing the ideal adoptive parents for your baby. Let these guide you as you look over adoptive family profiles. If you can form a clear picture of what you are looking for and remain uncompromised in your search, we know you’ll find hopeful parents who are just perfect for your child.
Four Things to Consider
Every adoption is unique, and every woman considering adoption will have different answers to these questions. It’s not about being “right,” but being true to yourself.
What values do I refuse to compromise on?
This is always a good place to start. Make a list of your non-negotiables before you start looking at adoptive family profiles. It’s okay if this takes time. You may find that you need to spend some time focusing on yourself to determine what it is you really value.
The answers you find will be unique. Perhaps faith is a major part of your life, and you need to know that any adoptive parents for your baby also have a strong faith. You could also realize that a lasting connection through open adoption is vitally important, and any family who is put off by this won’t work.
As a prospective birth mother, you are in charge of the adoption process. You can plant your flag in your most important values and remain unwavering. Doing this will not only give you a sense of confidence, but will also increase the chances that you choose adoptive parents who are ideal for your baby.
Who do I want my child to grow up to be?
How does a person become who they are meant to be? It’s a complex mish-mash of nature and nurture, shaped both by personal decisions and uncontrollable circumstances. One thing you do control is who your baby’s parents will be. This will shape who they become.
What character traits are going to help your child grow into the vision you have of them? Do you value parents who are humble and kind? Do you think it’s important for parents to be ambitious, driven and confident? What kind of lifestyle do the parents lead, and how will that shape a child?
These are questions with wide-open answers. To find your truth, think deeply about who you want your child to be and how they will get there.
Do I feel comfortable with these hopeful parents?
Constantly gauge your own comfort level with the hopeful adoptive parents. Your gut instinct is a good indicator here. When you talk with the hopeful parents, do you feel welcomed and safe, or nervous and vulnerable? A couple that makes you feel safe is likely going to provide a safe, loving home for your child.
Additionally, this matters because most adoptions are at least semi-open. There’s a good chance you’ll have long-lasting communication with the family. You’re going to experience a better relationship if you trust the adoptive parents from the start.
What style of parenting do I want for my child?
Opening up a debate about parenting style is a gateway to an endless discussion. We’re not here to tell you if one way is better than the others. Rather, we would encourage you to ask yourself which you think is best and then look for that in adoptive families.
You may place a greater emphasis on encouragement, while others might focus more on discipline. This is, like many of the other things discussed here, ultimately up to your personal preferences.
These are four big questions that will help you find ideal adoptive parents for your baby. If you are feeling confused and need guidance, the best resource is always your adoption specialist. She is there to help guide you through this process when you call 1-800-ADOPTION.
