What to Do With an Unplanned Pregnancy [5 Steps to Take]

If the path you had laid out for your life now seems uncertain because of an unplanned pregnancy, there are 5 steps you can take to figure what to do next:

• Step 1. Confirm your pregnancy.

• Step 2. Sort through your feelings.

• Step 3. Explore your options.

• Step 4. Build a support system.

• Step 5. Get professional support by calling 1-800-ADOPTION today.

Fortunately, you have a wide variety of resources to help you answer these questions, move forward and determine which of your unplanned pregnancy options is right for you. What to do if you’re pregnant will ultimately always be up to you; you are the only person who can decide how to handle an unexpected pregnancy and decide which of your options is best for you and your baby.

But, this is a big decision, and you don’t have to face it alone.

• If you’re wondering who to talk to or where to go when you find out you’re pregnant, you can always start by contacting American Adoptions now at 1-800-ADOPTION.

• Our counselors will never tell you how to handle your unplanned pregnancy or which decision to make; instead, we are here to give guidance, support and resources for any woman who is pregnant and not sure what to do next.

• You can trust our guidance because we’ve been in your shoes. With a staff that includes birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees, we know what it’s like to choose adoption. You can find peace and confidence in your situation with our help.

How to handle an unplanned pregnancy may be different for each individual woman based on her unique circumstances, so it’s important to talk to a professional to get guidance in your specific situation. In the meantime, we’ve outlined some of the general steps to take when pregnant for you here. As you navigate this time in your life, these are some of the things you may need to consider to move forward with your unplanned pregnancy.

The First Steps When Finding out You’re Pregnant

So, the results are in — and now you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant; now what?” You likely have countless thoughts running through your head at once: 

• I’m pregnant and don’t know what to do.

• What are my options?

• How will I ever decide what to do with an unplanned pregnancy?

• What are the first steps to take after finding out you’re pregnant? 

• What happens now?

​An unplanned pregnancy can affect women in many different ways, so some of your first steps after finding out you’re pregnant should be to work through your own feelings and come to terms with this unexpected situation. In general, here are some of the first steps to take when pregnant unexpectedly:

Step 1: Confirm your pregnancy with a doctor.

The first step of pregnancy, whether planned or unplanned, is usually to consult with a doctor. Your doctor can:

• Confirm your pregnancy

• Determine how far along you are, which could impact the options that are available to you 

• Help you make a plan for prenatal care until you decide which pregnancy option is right for you

If you need help finding a doctor or clinic or getting access to prenatal care, American Adoptions can help. Call us at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn more.

Your doctor will be able to answer any questions you might have about pregnancy, childbirth or abortion and refer you to additional resources as needed. From there, you can determine what your pregnancy next steps are.

Step 2: Sort through your feelings.

When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, what to do will depend largely on how you feel about the pregnancy. For example, what to do with an unplanned pregnancy you feel excited and hopeful about will obviously be different from what to do if you don’t want to be pregnant. But determining exactly how you feel about your unplanned pregnancy isn’t always that simple. These tips might help:

• Know that feelings of shock, anger, denial and depression are common; an unexpected pregnancy can bring on a wide range of emotions, all of which are normal at this stage.

• As you cope with this sudden life change, give yourself time to process all of your thoughts and feelings.

• Reach out to an unplanned pregnancy counselor to get help determining how you feel about this pregnancy and, therefore, how to handle the pregnancy going forward.

Step 3: Explore your options.

Women wondering what to do if pregnant generally have three options:

• Raise the child

• End the pregnancy

• Place the child for adoption 

It’s important to learn as much as you can about all of these options so you can make an informed decision you feel good about; you can read more about each of them below.

What to do if you accidentally get pregnant is a choice only you can make; this is your decision, and no one knows you, your baby or your situation like you do. However, if you need help deciding how to handle an unwanted pregnancy or unplanned pregnancy, there are many options counselors available to provide guidance and support. You can always contact an adoption specialist or reach out to an options counselor for more information about your choices.

Step 4: Build a support system.

When you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, what to do and who to tell will always be up to you. Telling loved ones about your unexpected pregnancy can be intimidating, and it’s understandable why you may want to decide what to do with an unwanted pregnancy before you share your news.

But, while keeping your unwanted pregnancy a secret is an option, it is usually recommended that you share the information with those close to you when you feel comfortable. By hiding your pregnancy, you may deprive yourself of much-needed support from family or close friends. Having even one close friend or family member to walk with you through your first steps after getting pregnant can be incredibly helpful.

Step 5: Get professional support. We’re here to help.

Finally, know that you don’t have to go through any of pregnancy’s first steps alone. There are many places to go for support — you can find a variety of support groups and professionals to help you decide what to do if you have an unwanted pregnancy, including those at American Adoptions. You can contact our adoption specialists any time at 1-800-ADOPTION for free, unbiased counseling and support.

In the meantime, read on for some things to know about each of your options for unplanned or unwanted pregnancy and what to do to move forward.

Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options:

Adoption

• Women choose adoption out of love for their babies – Some women worry that choosing to place a baby for adoption is selfish or irresponsible, but that's just not the case. Rather than “giving up” their babies, these women make a difficult, loving decision in the best interest of their children.

“Although I felt devastated when I learned I was pregnant, I eventually fell so in love with the life I created and wanted everything for him. I knew I couldn’t provide that but fully believe Ray and Donna can. We’ve kept in touch and have even gotten together since his birth,” said Nicole, a heroic birth mother.

• You are in charge of your baby’s adoption – Adoption is your decision, and you will be in control of the process from beginning to end.

• You get to choose and meet the baby’s family – American Adoptions has hundreds of adoptive family profiles to help you find the perfect family for your baby. Over the course of your pregnancy, you will be able to get to know them and ask them questions.

• Adoption does not cost any money for birth mothers – In fact, you may be eligible for financial support to cover your pregnancy-related expenses, like rent or mortgage payments, groceries, maternity clothes and more.

• Feelings of grief after an adoption are normal – Even in a perfect adoption experience, it is impossible not to wonder what life raising your baby would have been like. These feelings are not a sign that you have made the wrong decision — only that you love your baby.

• You can have a lifelong relationship with your baby and the family – Because of open adoption, you can see your child grow up, know how he or she is doing, and even talk to him or her about adoption.

Abortion

• Abortion must be completed very early on in the pregnancy – Both medical and surgical abortion must be done early in a pregnancy, so if you are further along, abortion may no longer be available to you.

• In most states, minors need parental permission for abortion – You may have to take specific measures to obtain an abortion, especially if you are under 18 years of age. Visit Planned Parenthood for more information.

• The cost of abortion can vary – Abortion costs will depend on where you live, the facility you go to, the type of abortion you have and more. Abortion can cost up to several hundred dollars.

• While generally safe, there are some medical risks – There are some common, mild side effects of abortion, as well as rare, more severe ones. 

• There are also emotional risks of abortion – Some women may feel grief and loss after an abortion. There are many things you can do to prepare for this beforehand and recover afterward.

• Not all information you will find is reliable – There are “crisis pregnancy centers” all around the country that are actually run by anti-abortion advocates. These places provide biased, misleading, and sometimes plain false information to vulnerable women.

Parenting

• Education or career goals may be put on hold – When you decide to parent, raising your child becomes your first priority. The emotional and financial responsibilities of parenting might mean that school or certain jobs need to wait.

• The outlook on single parenting is changing – The stigma surrounding unplanned pregnancy and single parenting has decreased immensely in recent years. Today, single parents are raising families more successfully than ever.

• It costs over $245,000 to raise a child – From birth to age 18, the costs of raising a child include expenses like housing, education, food, and healthcare.

• You have resources available to help you – Visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway and Parents Without Partners for information, education, and more.

• If you don't want to be a parent or don't feel ready, that's OK – Now may simply not be the right time for you to become a parent, or you may not see yourself ever having children. Whatever your feelings toward parenthood, it's OK. Parenting is not for everyone.

Wondering what to do if you’re pregnant is not only normal, but it also demonstrates extreme selflessness and maturity by putting your child’s needs first. To get more information about what to do if you accidentally get pregnant, contact an adoption specialist today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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